Where Does Magic SAN Dust Come From?

Published On: 2015-04-01By:

Magic SAN dust is a very expensive product for the storage vendor to purchase and bundle with the arrays. This is why storage costs so much.

You see they start by having to catch pixy fairies. From there they need to collect their tears. Now you’d think that this would be pretty easy, a little light torture and you’re good to go. However not just any tears will work. Tears of joy are what are required, and a lot of them. Your standard storage array is going to need somewhere in the neighborhood of 3 ounces of tears of joy.

Once collected these tears are filtered through a filter made of the tail hair of a unicorn turning the tears into “mudding”. This hair must be plucked, not cut, and must be obtained from a single unicorn. The hair is spun into a fine silk like string and a single string of it is used to create the filter. There can be no breaks in the string, and no contaminants or the process won’t work and the unicorn hair will simply absorb the tears of joy.

Once the tears of joy have been filtered through the unicorn tail hair filter they are fermented in a leprechaun’s pot of gold for 21 days which turns the “mudding” into “mash” (so called because the “mudding” is mashed flat under the weight of the gold. If the mudding is taken out to early it will be to sweet, and if left in for to long will it will sour.

Now for the tricky part. The “mash” is then removed from the pot and laid out on a blanket of spider silk and completely dried. Once completely dried this ultra fine powder is now the “Magic SAN Dust” that we all know and love. The three ounces of tears of joy that we started with will turn into just 0.05 grams of Magic SAN Dust which needs to be gently sprinkled on the storage array as it’s being shipped. The Magic SAN Dust unfortunately wears off and can’t be reapplied, which is why SAN vendors force you to buy a new array every 3-5 years (the length of time the Magic SAN Dust lasts depends on the quality of the tears that you start with).


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