Welcome back, my fellow sleuths, to my mystery-inspired blog series! I’m having a ton of fun writing these, and I hope you’re enjoying the ride through SQL Server’s haunted hallways as much as I am. For this one, the “ghost” isn’t a person in a mask — it’s AI.
AI has burst onto the SQL Server scene like a new member of Mystery Inc., promising to solve every problem, write all your code, and tune every query. But here’s the truth: sometimes AI is the villain in disguise.
When AI Leads the Gang Astray
Picture this: the gang bursts into the abandoned carnival, and AI points dramatically at Fred — “He’s the villain!” Everyone gasps, but Velma squints and says, “Wait a second… based on what evidence?”
That’s what can happen when database professionals put blind trust in AI-generated answers. AI can confidently hand you code or query “fixes” that sound perfect — but aren’t tested, don’t fit your workload, and don’t follow your business rules. It gives a false sense of truth.
Velma steps closer to the glowing AI console and frowns. “Hold on… this says the culprit’s been ‘hiding near the data lake since 1892.’ That doesn’t even make sense — we don’t have a data lake in this mystery!”
The gang looks at each other — Scooby tilts his head — and Shaggy mutters, “Like, that’s one spooky hallucination, man.”
They ask AI again, and this time it confidently declares: “It was Scrappy-Doo all along!”
Now the room goes silent. Even Scrappy, clutching his little paws, shouts, “Hey! I didn’t do it!”
That’s the danger with AI—it can sound so sure even when it’s so wrong. Like a detective guessing before seeing all the clues, it can fabricate details or change its story entirely depending on how you ask the question. And remember—unlike your database queries—AI is non-deterministic—you don’t get the same results every time. While AI can be powerful, asking it technical database questions is a lot like running queries with NOLOCK, you never know what you’re going to get.
In SQL Server terms, that’s the equivalent of running the same query twice and getting two completely different plans — one blaming missing indexes and another pointing fingers at tempdb. Both sound logical until you actually check the execution plan.
Velma sighs. “See, gang? AI doesn’t know—it predicts. It doesn’t solve mysteries; it just makes good guesses based on partial data.”
When AI Becomes a Helpful Sleuth
Now, that doesn’t mean AI can’t be a great part of the mystery crew — it just needs to stay in the right role. When used to assist instead of replace, AI becomes an incredible research partner for DBAs and developers.
Here are a few Monica-approved ways to Scooby-Doo with AI:
- Code Reviews with Standards
Create a document of your organization’s coding rules and style preferences, then have AI check new code against it. It can generate a templated code review that flags violations and even explains why. Think of it as Daphne organizing the clues — neat, stylish, and consistent. - Execution Plan Comparisons
Have AI compare a before and after execution plan to show performance gains, regressions, and node differences. You can even have it output a formatted summary of improvements and warnings. That’s Velma-level detective work without hours in Plan Explorer. - Pattern Recognition & Reporting
Use AI to summarize patterns from diagnostic data — top waits, query regressions, storage trends — without it ever touching your code. It’s the flashlight, not the driver.
Comparing or consolidating text or code is generally a reliable AI use case—just be sure to double check any math that gets done!
The Moral of the Mystery
AI’s like ChatGPT or Copilot are powerful tools, but they are no replacement for your experience, curiosity, and a deep understanding of how SQL Server works. Use it to amplify your knowledge, not replace it.
In this week’s mystery, Velma warns the gang not to jump to conclusions — AI pointed at the wrong villain because it didn’t have all the clues. But once the team used AI to organize the data instead of interpret it, they solved the case — and found out the “ghost” was just a poorly indexed view.
Scooby: “Ruh-roh, that’s one spooky query!”
Velma: “Not anymore — we’ve got the facts, not guesses.”
Lesson learned: AI shouldn’t wear the detective badge — it should shine the flashlight.
The post Scooby Dooing Episode 9: The Case of the Artificially Intelligent Villain first appeared on A Shot of SQLEspresso.